over at the river, down under the train tracks

   Hangin' with my boys down at the Anacostia and the train passed over head. Love this view. We took a nice bike ride, and this is one of the spots we like to stop and hang out for awhile. We usually bring bags with us to collect trash along our stops.
   We had some other adventures,  and then afterwards we biked over to Hyattsville for some yummy eats at Franklin's.
   My big boy turned six this past week!

born artists

after nature center class

(This post has been stuck in draft for TWO years!  SO much has changed since then, including the addition of the third artist child, Takoda Diin!  Publishing this as-is, with a to-be-continued... ;)

My children are born artists. It's really amazing to witness. I'm not just saying that or pushing it on them because I'm an artist, it's just totally natural to each of them in their own ways, part of the fabric of their being. I'm sharing this story as an example of what happens when you follow your kids' lead, from as early as possible, observe, see what they're into, let go of convention, and really give them time and space to go with it and explore themselves and their world. I think some of my biggest lessons as a parent have been letting go of control - you have to pick your battles, and so many are just not worth it; learning to say 'no' (I was never very good at that - sometimes it's necessary); and learning when not to say no, to say yes as much as possible.


Phoenix (my 3-yo son) has always had such an interesting spatial relationship with his world. When he was a baby, if he got in a fussy mood (which was not often, except for one period of about a month when he was cutting teeth and was inconsolable in the middle of the night), accidentally we discovered that he love to be upside down. He was fussing, crying, carrying on, and his Baba held him upside down like a bat, and he was happy. He stopped and was quiet. He loved it.

Then, he didn't crawl much; he would scoot around on his butt, backwards especially, usually with one leg out rather than on hands and knees. Once he could stand well he would climb to the highest point in the room, as often as he could. He walked a good 15 steps one day around 11 mos. when we were at the TaeKwonDo school and then wouldn't do it again for a month. He learned to walk just after his 1st birth day when my mom was visiting and she said, "C'mon Phoenix, walk! You just do this, waddle like a penguin." And he just took off after her, waddling like the little grandson penguin.

my painted boy balancing blocks at the American History Museum

He went through a phase where he was constantly a painted boy. Marker on his face, kinda like a warrior, and he always had to do his nipples and his belly button and his arms too. Or he would draw all over his chest. He had to have the Aang arrow (Avatar The Last Airbender) on his forehead for a few months straight. And when his hair was short, he had to have the arrow extend up over his head and down his back, and had to have the arrows on his hands and feet too. Attention to detail. Convention would say "No, don't let him do that. He can't go out in public like that!" Why not? Who really cares? He's a little boy that wants to decorate himself. It's not hurting anyone, including him! What would hurt him is if I made him feel bad, guilty, or like he did something wrong.

doesn't want to come down!

Then, as he's gotten older, he still loves to climb, and is quite good at it - I'm very confident in his climbing skills. He can scale a fence up 9 feet at least, and would go higher if the fence is tall enough and someone would follow him up there (because of the adults' fear, not his). Definitely no fear of heights. He does things when we're out and about that make people cringe sometimes, like "He's 3! Aren't you afraid he's going to hurt himself?!" But I just watch him calmly, knowing that he has the situation under control. He's not reckless, but brave and assured.

nakey boy wrestlin' with papa in the backyard

He love love loves to wrestle and 'fight' with his dad, and anyone else that will humor him. His dad is his favorite because he can really test his strength and go at it as hard as he wants, knowing that Daddy's Tough and he can't hurt him. He knows when to be gentle and make it a lot of show with little impact. He goes at it in total fun and is so conscious most of the time of who's on the receiving end. He's smiling, laughing, and squealing in delight. He is my peaceful warrior, usually. He most certainly has a temper which flares from time to time though. Then, look out. I'd say his 9-yo sister, unfortunately, is the most frequent recipient of that type of outburst.

He's developed an interesting relationship with objects. He shows a very natural knack for sculpture without any prodding or suggestions from me whatsoever. He just does it instinctively.

When we are at the river (any river - we're river people) he will collect and arrange sticks in a fashion somewhat reminscent of an Andy Goldsworthy installation. He might stick them in the ground in two parallel lines, making what appears to be an old abandoned ribcage of an animal beached in the mud. (If you're unfamiliar with Andy Goldsworthy, he's an amazing 'earth artist' who creates mostly ephemeral land art. If you have Netflix, his movie "Rivers and Tides" is available for instant play, here. Check him out!)

'drawing' with blocks

He will use objects including various shaped building blocks to make lines on the ground, and he likes to build very tall lego block towers just so that he can knock them down. Convention might say, "But wait, you just built it! Why would you knock it down?!"

When I started getting Play-Doh for him, his first instinctive use for it was to wrap his "guys" (the super heroes and other characters) in it. He completely covers them with the Play-Doh, bit by bit, often using his body to smush it onto them well by standing in his chair and leaning on the guy with all his weight, pressing his belly against it to make sure that it's really well stuck. And then, after a while, he'll take it off, and it can go back into the container. He also pretty quickly manages to mix most of the colors together. Convention would have him trying to make a cat or a dog or something, and of course, you mustn't mix the colors all together! God forbid!

a Batman Masterpiece who's missing at the moment :(

When I offer him paint to use, he's not really interested in painting on paper. About a year ago when he was 2 and a half was probably the first time paint was offered to him and he wanted to paint one of his brand-new Batmans. Convention would say "No! You can't paint on that! It's brand new! If you paint on him, it's not going to come off. You're going to 'ruin' him." But hey, what the heck? Who cares? He wants to enhance Batman's appearance. And does so quite well. Now the "guys" have become real works of art. Some of them look soooo cool, they have so much character, with this kind of weathered look. What he likes to do is paint them, and then wash the paint off, sometimes almost immediately after. Now, sometimes he leaves the paint on. And guess what, he uses my (gasp) expensive paints - my acrylics and nice gouache (high-quality watercolors), or the window art paint, which dries like colored translucent plastic. At first, I struggled with "Oh Phoenix, but you're wasting it!" Especially since he would slather it on and then sometimes just wash or peel it off right away. There it goes. Down the drain. But then I thought, Well, small price to pay for his fun, joy, happiness, learning, exploration, and freedom. Big deal. I'll buy more.

Now, there's Adobe. My first born. My thesis project. And my only girl.  Also a true artist.  And considering that two years has passed since I started this post, and this is where I had left off, there's so much more to tell now, so I'll have to dedicate a whole 'nother post to her, soon. To be continued...

you never know until you're doing it

'Homeschooling' - it's just like parenting in a way.  Well, of course, it is a special subdivision of parenting, if you wind up finding yourself going this route, taking this very special road....

What I mean to say is that before you have kids, you have this idea of what parenting will be like, what your kids may be like, what you think you will do if certain situations arise, what your life will be like living with children, what 'type' of parent you will be, how you will handle issues like discipline, how you will do things differently from your own parents, and so on.... But the fact is, you just really don't know until it happens.  You have all these great ideas, maybe you have read some books, blogs, articles, talked to other friends who do or don't have children, but you really just don't know until you are right there, in the thick of it, in the gloriously messy mixing bowl of family life, figuring it out as you go along.

Without digressing too far into this tangent which could be a whole 'nother post, (and in fact, I think has been...) I will just say that I was raised in a very unconventional way, by a single father whose attitude about childrearing was expressed thus: 'Everyone thinks your whole life has to change when you have a kid, but that's not true.  There's nothing to it!  You just clothe it , feed it, give it love, and go on with your life!'  This was my attitude going into parenthood also, at age 28.  Well, I was in for a big surprise.  I did manage to sustain that perspective to a certain degree for the first couple of years, but of course, things did change.  Undeniably so.  Sooo much has changed in my life over the past 11 years of parenting.  

To return to the original point of my post, before I ever had children, I had an idea that I wanted to homeschool them, for a variety of reasons.  But in my mind, it looked very neat and compartmentalized compared to what it is now.  For one, I visualized a possible scenario in which we would be involved in some type of co-op with 4 other families, and that the kids would rotate houses, which would give each responsible parent one day on and 4 days off to work, freelance, or whatever their needs dictated.  This is part of how I envisioned I would be able to 'afford' doing this as a working artist of one sort or another.  The group of kids would all be together, each day of the week, but under the supervision and tutelage of a different parent each day.  Sounds nice.  Having lessons in various subjects, with each responsible parent getting to focus on their area of strength with the kids, complimentary studies happening....

Well, the fact is that it's difficult enough to even get a co-op scenario to gel for even one day a week, for a number of reasons.  For one, part of the reason most people homeschool is because we actually want to be with our kids all day, or most of the day, pretty much every day.  We formed and sustained a co-op with a few other families that lasted for a couple years (see previous posts) that was really fabulous, and it started off with the intention of being a swap-off situation so that each of us would have a chunk of time most weeks to do some work or whatever we needed to do, but that rarely happened, because we just enjoyed being with our children, each others' children, and each other so much that we just all stayed together most of the time, swapping off responsibility and who would host and give the kids a lesson that week.

And there are so many activities and classes offered for homeschoolers that the kids would miss out on if they were committed to being at someone's house 5 days a week.  Which leads me to why I place 'homeschooling' in quotation marks to begin with.  Homeschooling is actually a bit of a misnomer for most of us.  I tend to refer to what we do instead as 'lifeschooling' because working or 'schooling' at home is only a portion of what we do, and in fact most of our at-home 'lessons' do not really resemble school at home (again, another post).  There is also 'carschooling' (all homeschoolers know this ;), when we are going from place to place, and doing our Spanish lessons - Pimsleur approach to conversational Spanish, or singing, or listening to classical music, jazz, blues, quizzing from 5th grade Brainquest cards while at stop lights, making up stories, and so on.   That's in between our Museum class that I'm teaching, our art classes, Earth Champs meetings, writing class, Shakespeare rehearsal, and so on....  Then there are other real-world experiences like going to the bank, the grocery store, thrift store, comparing prices, budgeting, going to more museums, nature walks, historical tours, bike rides, other field trips... it's boundless really.  That's a big part of where the inspiration of the name for my businesses came from, this overall attitude that
We Can Do Anything We Want.

Reading this, school-going families may think, 'well yeah, of course, we do a lot of those things too.'  Yes, you do.  As homeschool families, we are held accountable (in most places - it depends on where you live, and varies) and called upon to show evidence of learning, thus we may come to value these real-world experiences in a different light as we begin to see the learning opportunities inherent all around us, every single day.

My original point is that homeschooling, or lifeschooling, like parenting, is a beautiful, unfolding, sometimes chaotic, sometimes harmonious, ever-changing process with twists and turns, revelations, successes and failures.... And just when you think you have it all figured out, that you have found 'a way,' life will throw you a curve ball just to keep things interesting, and you have to try again, change it up, find a new way.  Some things change, some things stay the same.  There is so much more to education than schooling.   

Until next time....

'Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.'
-Yates

giving thanks for my mother, inspired cooking, and the arts

mom's cute webcam pic for her FB page

Tues., Jan. 10:  I give thanks for my mother.  She conceived me (with some help of course) and carried me in her womb, labored for 36 hours, and bears a scar where they finally decided to cut her open and remove me from her body.  Though I did not grow up with her (I was raised by my father from birth) we have always had a great relationship, one that has only grown deeper with time.  Those of you who know me well know the full story here - perhaps I will write it some time.  She is one of my best friends, one of the wisest women I know, and always a voice of reason in my life.

Wed., Jan. 11:  I give thanks for spontaneous inspiration in the kitchen.  Growing up, I think my dad may have cooked for us a total of 10 times, or maybe a few more, but I think at least half of those meals were hot dog sandwiches or franks and beans.  We ate out a lot of the time.  Sometimes, Eileen, my half-brother's mom who lived under us in the first-floor apartment of the house I grew up in, would cook dinner for me, but I didn't usually witness the process.

I did not grow up around anyone preparing meals.  The only memories I can really think of where I witnessed some major cooking was at my aunt's and granddad's on holidays, and that was some major cooking that went on for hours and hours, resulting in quite a feast, where you eat on and off all day.  Now, I'm a wife, and a mother of three, and there has definitely been a bit of a learning curve here.  I discovered in my adult years that I'm a pretty good 'intuitive' cook, meaning I keep healthy ingredients around and can usually hook up a good meal by throwing some of those ingredients together.  

However, cooking for yourself or one other person is one thing.  And, I've done alot of eating out in my adult years for sure, esp. since so many were spent leading a hustle 'n' bustle kinda life.  Now, I'm responsible for providing 3 meals a day for 3 other people (baby Din is still pretty exclusively on my milk) and myself.  This is no small feat.  Honestly, I'm usually wingin' it.  I'm not a recipe kinda gal.  Meal planning sounds nice, but it's not very realistic for me, given that I'm the type of person who often has difficulty planning beyond the next hour, except for really important things of course.  My main strategy is simply to keep good, healthy, yummy food around, and then see what comes together when it's time to eat.  (We don't have set meal times either.)

So what led to this post was a bit of spontaneous genius in the kitchen on Wednesday night.  At shortly after 7 pm, I thought, hmmm, what should we have for dinner?  I thawed some chicken in the nuker (in the basement - I resort to its' use in emergencies only ;), scrambled two eggs in coconut oil, added some frozen veggie fried rice to that, a few squirts of Bragg's Liquid Aminos, and threw the chicken in a separate pan with olive oil, drizzled with raw cider vinegar, added some Celtic sea salt and other spices, and then some fresh garlic.  Sounds good, but kinda a typical meal around here, and Atom and I have both been getting a bit 'bored' with food, so... I decided to put the rice on a corn tortilla, topped with the chicken, and then topped with a slice of cheese.  Popped into the toaster oven to melt the cheese, and voila!  Delicious.  Yummy yum.


Thurs., Jan. 12:  I give thanks for the arts, all kinds, for they have the ability to give voice to the heart, mind, and spirit, and release, inspire, feel understood, bring joy, and heal.  There has been a lot of grieving, reflecting, spontaneous weeping, and ruminating going on of late, off & on over the past few months.  (See a past post here and the FB page of a friend who left this world a few weeks ago here.)  It is making my thyroid ache.  As I said in that previous post, so much of the weeping and sorrow is not for my own grief, but for others' suffering.  I am an empath, and I think part of my purpose is to help transmute those very difficult emotions.  I just have to be careful not to let them get stuck in my body.

One of the things that helps me with that is listening to good music, and especially music that makes me want to sing.  So, yesterday I was listening to this really awesome album, 'Be OK' by Ingrid Michaelson.  Over and over.  It felt so good.  In fact, I think I'm gonna put it on repeat again, right now.  It's so awesome how sometimes just the right music comes on at just the right time, speaking to your life.  In this case, I felt like it was speaking more to my dear friend (who has just gone through the most difficult time of her life) than it was to me, but it helped, and I sang and sang, and sent her love all the while.

(As a sidenote, if you're suffering, or have ever felt suicidal:  Just don't get caught up listening to some sad music over and over while drinking copious amounts of alcohol when you're depressed.  That's a bad idea.  Switch it up.  Feel the misery, for a little while.  Then find something that gives you some shred of hope and happiness.  If you can't force yourself to stop wallowing, find a kid, yours or someone else's and hug them, play with them for 5 minutes.  That will make you feel better, at least for a little while.  Most kids have this great intuitive sense that tells them when you need a really good hug or a laugh.)

We hosted our co-op/tribe at our house yesterday.  I gave a lesson with a brief overview of the history of art from cave painting to the present, looking at the trends and styles that evolved over time, and the factors that influenced those trends.  And then, we painted.  Anything we wanted.  And it felt so good.  Here are ours.  The pics aren't great - I just took them on the webcam, but I'll share anyway.  

Phoe's painting: acrylic on cardboard.

Adobe's painting - her variation of Genevra DaBenci: acrylic on canvas

my painting - in progress still: acrylic on masonite

 My thanks for the arts is so infinite that I could write a whole book on it.  There will be more to come on the matter, I'm sure, but this post has been long enough already.  Visual and performing arts have pervaded my life for as long as I can remember.  My given name, Artis Mooney, aptly translates to 'wealth of art'.  Artis - Latin - 'of art'; Mooney - Gaelic - 'wealth'.

XO

giving thanks for my life, physical work, and lovely weather

Sat., Jan 7:  I give thanks for my life.  We went to a memorial service for a friend who chose to leave this world at the young age of 28.  The outpouring of love for this person was tremendous, and he left behind a family and huge crew of friends who will miss his presence so very much.  Life is such a gift, to be treasured, and though the road can be insufferable at times, we must always remember that others suffer too, that no matter how great our suffering, someone has it worse, and that 'this too shall pass'.  Count your blessings, and keep moving forward.

me & my sweeties in our backyard.  what you see is only a small fraction of the wood around here.  good exercise.  :) 

Sun., Jan 8:  I give thanks for physical work and a healthy body.  I stacked a ton of wood on the front porch today (all of which my darling husband first cut and stacked at the back and side of the house) - which was a good thing apparently, since we got snow yesterday.  I love work like this; it can be very meditative for me.  I am so happy to have a body that works well, with no major aches and pains, in cooperation with my mind and spirit.  During my last pregnancy I was so incredibly sore for a good number of months that I really understood how difficult it must be to live with chronic pain that never goes away.  At least I knew, or hoped, that mine would subside once this lovely little being finally emerged into the world.  I cannot imagine suffering like that with no end in sight.  I will offer the insight, however, that meditation helped me tremendously with the pain, on the days I had the wherewithal to make myself sit mindfully still for at least ten minutes. 

Mon., Jan 9:  I give thanks for the weather!  The snow was lovely, and it's nice to have a change of seasons, change of scenery, change of ambience, and yes, even a change of temperature.  It's so silly when we complain about the weather, and some people always seem to want it to be something other than what it is.  I love it all.  True, I'm a bit wimpy about the cold in wintertime, however, I have my awesome wood stove and that makes it so much more enjoyable.  I love keeping the fire burnin'.

giving thanks for networks

Jan 5:  I give thanks for my awesome homeschool tribe.  We went to the Shenandoah Valley Discovery Museum in Winchester for the day with some of our posse, and everyone had such a great time.  If you've never been there, well worth the trip.  Similar to the way DC Children's Museum was set up for those of you who grew up in the area, except way smaller.  Totally awesome.  We wrapped it up at a yummy Thai restaurant there on the pedestrian mall a few doors down, and then stopped by a coffee shop a couple more doors down to refuel for the ride home while the kids ran around outside a bit longer.



These mommas and their kids (shout out to Kristen, Melanie, and Stephanie) are such a vibrant part of our network, and I'm so thankful for our freedom to explore and learn in a natural & fun way. 

Jan 6:  I give thanks for Facebook.  Yes, it's true.  Such a great centralized wealth of information, a great virtual community, a great voice for those who want to share their thoughts with any segment of 'their' public, whether mundane or profound, a great place to network, and of course, a great place to reconnect.

What are you thankful for?

birth & death, & everything in between

a grave marker in the beautiful Sierra Vista Cemetary in Taos, NM

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,

there is a field.  I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase each other

doesn't make any sense."

Rumi

It's been an emotional few weeks.  Quite a bit of weeping.

Mitakuye Oyasin.  We are all related.  I do believe that beyond these bodies, we are all one, and the sentiment of this poem by Rumi resonates deeply with me - yet still, the reality of mortality can be hard to deal with.

Two weeks ago today, our dear sweet neighbor and landlord Mr. Bowyer passed away.  I truly miss him and wish that we had spent more time with him.  His presence was comforting, and pretty much every warm day that we had, he would be out in his wheelchair, either in his beautiful big backyard, or occasionally in the front driveway.  Adobe liked to take friends over to meet him, outside or in the house.  He had an open-door policy.  He was a real sweetheart, and I feel that he loved knowing there was a nice family here enjoying this house, which we do, so much.  I wish that we had had him over for dinner sometime, which just seemed like it would be tricky because of his big automatic wheelchair, with both entrances to the house being a few steps up, but I really wish now that we had made it happen, somehow.    
     My heart aches when I'm in the kitchen, where I'd always look out the window and see him across the yard getting fresh air and sunshine.  My heart aches any time I look over at the house, and think about the fact that he (his living body) is no longer there, and his grandson, who's just a couple years older than me, is now there alone, after all these years of living with him, and helping to care for him, and being his buddy.  But I know that he is still here, I feel his spirit around us, over the trees and the grass, and the houses, and I talk to him. 
     I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to pay last respects while there was still breath in his body.  I wept so much on the way to the hospital, going into the room, and when I was saying goodbye to him.  I wish that I had had a couple minutes alone with him, but the room was full of family members and his caretakers.  I wanted so much just to give him a little Reiki, and a kiss on the cheek.  I did whisper in his ear that we loved him and would miss him so much.  And even though he was unconscious, I know he heard me. 
     Yes, he was not a member of my blood family, but I love him, and this is my first experience really of 'losing' someone that I am used to seeing on a regular basis.  The only other family member who has passed on was my grandfather, and I loved him so much, but I hadn't seen him for ten years.  In both cases, there is regret, and things I wish I'd done when they were alive.
     My granddad's funeral is the only one I've been to.  Mr. Bowyer's is delayed until January, because it will be at Arlington Cemetary, and they are booked up.  My granddad's viewing and funeral gave me great comfort & closure - I wept over him, and kissed him, and stroked his hair, and his Buddha earlobes, and talked to him, and told him how much I loved him.  He looked so small lying there, a shell of the big robust man I knew, so full of life, the man who threw great parties on the holidays for his family, who would sing, and tell stories, and enlist me and my cousins to perform for him, much in the way he did with my mother and her sister apparently.

This morning, I am attending another funeral.  Two days ago, my dance teacher (from age 7 to 18), Ms. Sparks, passed on.  More regrets.  I have been talking for years about going to visit her, right here in Arlington, and never did.  I'm so thankful though for the many great memories that I have of her from my childhood, and for the focus she brought to my childhood, the influence she had on my life, and the training she gave me, which along with others, helped me to support myself by teaching dance for many of my adult years.  I did get a chance to thank her, many years ago, but I wish that I had gone and told her these things again, and told her how much I loved her.  Today, I will be doing alot more weeping, I'm sure.

I weep for the pain of our knowledge of our own mortality.
I weep for the pain that causes my father, and for the wish that he will find resolve with this before his time comes.
I weep for the pain and sorrow of loved ones who miss that special person they will see no more.
I weep for the pain of humanity.
I weep for the pain of mothers and fathers who have lost a child.
I weep for the pain of children who have lost their parents.
I weep for all of the suffering in the world.
I weep because change is so hard sometimes.
I weep with gratitude and joy for the gifts in my life, first and foremost being my family.
I weep with gratitude and awe for this amazing baby and my other children who have chosen me as their mother.
I weep with gratitude and joy for life.

inspiring creativity in learning and life

Several months ago, we went to this awesome place out in Winchester, VA, called the Shenandoah Valley Discovery Museum.  Even though we've only been there once, it's officially one of our favorite places in the world.  We plan to visit there again soon, so I'll do a full post later, with pictures, about why the place is so awesome and all the things there are to do there.  On the wall, they have this statement, nice and big, entitled 'Creativity Killers', and I requested a copy to bring home because I loved it so much, and it is a good reminder for me from time to time, especially when I feel like I'm being too controlling about what, how, and when my kids learn and do things.  I'm not sure who wrote it, or I'd give that specific person credit. 

If you want to inspire creativity in learning and life, here are some great reminders of things not to do:

CREATIVITY KILLERS

Surveillance:  hovering over kids, making them feel that they’re constantly being watched while they’re working.  When a child is under constant observation, the risk-taking, creative urge goes underground and hides.

Evaluation:  making kids worry about how others judge what they’re doing.  Kids should be concerned primarily with how satisfied they are with their accomplishments, rather than focusing on how they are being evaluated or graded, or what their peers will think. 

Rewards:  excessive use of prizes, such as gold stars, money, or toys.  If overused, rewards deprive a child of the intrinsic pleasure of creative activity.

Competition:  putting kids in a desperate win-lose situation, where only one person can come out on top.  A child should be allowed to progress at his own rate.  (There can, however, be healthy competition that fosters team or group spirit.)

Over-control:  telling kids exactly how to do things--their schoolwork, their chores, even their play.  Parents and teachers often confuse this micromanagement with their duty to instruct.  This leaves children feeling that any originality is a mistake and any exploration a waste of time.

Restricting choice:  telling children which activities they should engage in instead of letting them follow where their curiosity and passion lead.  Better to let a child choose what is of interest, and support that inclination.

Pressure:  establishing grandiose expectations for a child’s performance.  For example, those “hot-house” training regimes that force toddlers to learn the alphabet or math before they have any real interest can easily backfire and end up instilling an aversion for the subject being taught.

Time pressure:  restricting time for a child to explore a particular activity is a sure killer of intrinsic motivation.  Children enter the ultimate state of creativity called flow more naturally than adults.  This is a period in which total absorption can engender peak pleasure and creativity.  In flow, time does not matter; there is only the timeless moment at hand.  It is a state that is more comfortable for children than adults, who are more conscious of the passage of time.

Marcellita exploring watercolors.

Adobe laying out her composition.

Skyler exploring colors and strokes.

Which of these do you find especially challenging at times, or in what specific situations?  Have you had any specific experiences that illustrate for you the points listed above?

"Homeschooling Joins the Mainstream"

A little after the fact, but thanks to the internet and podcasts, none-the-matter - you can still check it out, and it's still relevant. 

Kojo Nnamdi, one of my favorite radio hosts, featured this topic last week - "Homeschooling Joins the Mainstream."  Here is a link to the podcast.  For those of you who wonder why we do it, and how it works, this is a great segment which may answer some questions.  It amazes me still how many misconceptions there are about 'homeschooling', one of them being the big question of 'socialization'.  As the guest speaker reveals, one of the 'dirty little secrets' about homeschooling is that we're rarely home.  Although we don't necessarily deal with the daily scramble to rush out the door at some ungodly hour, we have our morning routine, which looks different in different houses, and then, most days, we are out in the real world, with or without friends, interacting with people of all ages, and usually having a dang good time.

Phoenix at Cox Farms, psyched after coming down the huge slide.

Adobe pulls a surfer move as she speeds down the slide.

"Home education works.  Children who are homeschooled score, on average, 20 to 30 points higher on measures of academic achievement - these are standardized tests...."

ahh, the joys...

Aaahhh, the joys of mothering...

I'm out front of the house, dead-heading the rose bushes, marveling at mother nature, not even minding getting a little poke from a thorn. I head inside for a quick minute, and ask Adobe, "Where's Phoenix?" She has 'no idea'; she's totally absorbed in creating her comic strip "The Adventures of the Retarded Hamster" - which I believe is in response to her friend's short film she saw this morning. I find Phoenix out back, with his shorts and underwear on the ground near him, spitting on a pile of his own poop, which is already totally covered in flies. Ewww.  "And mommy, I'm cryin' 'bout it."  (That's his new thing when he has an accident.  But he's not crying.  He just likes to say that for some reason - thinks it makes it better.  I guess it's an expression of remorse. :)  Picked the poop up with some t.p. and flushed it.

Luckily, it's warm enough out that I just got the hose and sprayed the residue off the ground, hosed down the undies and shorts, and then hosed him down like the little animal that he is. :)

And luckily, most of the time he's really adorable. Like this. All in a day's work....

collaborative effort - he asked me for 'batman'

8 years ago today...

As of 4:56 a.m., 8 years ago today, I birthed my baby Adobe.  Ah, what a wild ride it's been!  If only I knew then what I know now :)  How life has changed, in so many ways...

Well, for one, I was still under the impression that my father gave me, and had been professing to people while I was pregnant - "Oh, everyone thinks that your whole life has to stop when you have kids, that everything has to change.  That's not true!  You go on with life, you have a child with you now, but you just clothe it, feed it, give it love, & it's all good!"  Hah!

I guess that approach worked for him - he was a single father, and that's how he did it, pretty much.  And I turned out fine.  I think overall he did a really great job of being both papa and mama, and he raised me to be very independent.  But, we often don't do things the way our parents did them, do we?  The idea is to continually improve upon the situation.  All any of us can do as parents is strive to find balance in our lives with our children.  As we reflect upon what was 'done' to us by our parents or whoever raised us - discover what was great & not-so-great, or in some cases, plain terrible - the best thing we can do is to release the wrongs and repeat the rights, and forge ahead with new ways of our own.  As I look around and see how people are raising their children, I am continually struck by how each generation is reacting to the one before.  I'll write a whole 'nother post at some point about this - the days of the house wife, the role of Women's Lib, the nuclear family, the explosion of single parenthood, and so on...

The main thing to say here, is that I wanted that baby so badly - the maternal urge was so strong - and I'm so glad that she was born.  Those of you who were in my life at the time, which was mostly my Corcoran crew, saw what a crazy ride I was on, with school full-time, Adobe born in my thesis semester (art school - Corcoran College of Art + Design), working almost every day of the week (teaching tap & running a performing company), and strappin' that sweet baby on me everywhere I went.  I wish that I'd gotten the partner part right from the get-go, but alas, I'm one of those people who has had to learn some lessons the hard way.  I really wanted to believe it was right, that it was going to work out, but I knew somewhere deep down that it was not meant to be. And I stuck it out as long as I could.  I'm sure I was not the easiest partner at that time either.  Life is real, and we all gotta do what we gotta do.

So, on this 8th anniversary of my sweet girl's birth, I give thanks, and I reflect upon all the changes over the past several years.  Now I can just say that I am so glad to have a real, beautiful, awesome family.  Here they are, acting silly on the Photo Booth.  For awhile I thought it would just be Adobe & I for the rest of the ride, but often, just when you're about to give up, the unexpected happens.  I reconnected with my old friend Atom, aka Adam, aka Slahmed, and together, we will continue to make history...

Thank you Adobe, for being born, for being my grounding, for being such a fireball, such a great big sister, and such a sweetheart.  Thank you Atom, for all you do, for being such a great father and partner, for supporting us in so many ways, and for enabling me to learn what a real family is like, since I didn't exactly learn that as a child.
I love you guys.

My girl got to have ice cream for breakfast - Blueberry Cheesecake Custard - from the Dairy Godmother.  Yum!  Happiness is an important component of health.  Happy Birth Day Darling!

geocaching, a bed of nails, the sun, and land art

Last week was another fun one - the title about sums up the variety...
I'm not going to recap the whole week in detail, just some highlights.

This post will be more pictorial - excuse all the scrolling but ... enjoy. :)

As some of you may or may not know, we've started a small collective where we gather with a few other families every Tuesday & Thursday, and often other days as well.  We mulled over what to call it, and I suppose we'll be calling it the Boundless Kids Tribe.  I also have affectionately referred to it in passing as the Free to Be Me Collective, but I think the vote is for the former.  And I guess it makes sense to go with the whole Boundless thing...

Some highlights from last week:
Last Tuesday, the older kids started the new session of the Homeschool Drama Club.  Melanie, Kazha, Phoenix and I picked up some goodies from the fabulous Lebanese Taverna & had a picnic outside on the grass where the older kids joined us when class was over.  Then we all went over to Hayes Park & the kids played for a couple hours.  My little daredevil Phoenix climbed up a chain link fence til his feet were almost as high as my head.  One of the older boys was spotting him.  Then he climbed back down.  All by himself.  Pretty impressive for a 2-year-old.

On Wednesday we went to the Maryland Science Center at Baltimore's Inner Harbor.  If you're in this area and haven't taken your kids there, go!  Super awesome!  We met our friends Kristen, Lucca, Marcella, & Kozhin there to check out their exhibit on geocaching & had fun checking out other stuff as well.

 As you can see, there are no strings on this harp - it has light beams!  And you could change the sounds that it made.  Fun.

Phoenix & Marcella were having a little face-off.  :)  They love each other, but as they are both used to being the youngest alot of the time, neither of them likes the other to tell them what to do.

If you don't know what geocaching is, go to geocaching.com for info - but in short, you use your handheld GPS device to discover hidden treasures near or far, whatever you wish!  Sounds really fun for family adventure.  The exhibit - eh.  That's how Kristen & I both felt about it.  It was very informative, but a bit dry for kids, too much reading, not enough hands-on.  I guess the idea is that you check out the exhibit about what it is & how you do it, then you could go on a geocaching adventure in the harbor area, but we didn't know that & didn't plan for it, so.... The kids had fun anyway.

 This is when we still had their attention, at the beginning, before they all went running off thru the maze to break the codes and find caches and figure this all out.

Phoenix got mad at me at one point & ran off.  He was laying on the floor pouting, until Marcella found him and broke that hard shell.

I'm looking at them through a fabric mesh, that's why these two images look strange.  Don't expect professional photo work here from me people.  The lighting conditions in this place were difficult to work with.

From there, on to some other parts of the Center:

Okay, this was definitely one of our favorite parts of the whole place!  There was a sheet of plexi that you first laid down on, with all the holes drilled in it for the nails to pass through.  Then, once you've laid down, the woman pressed a button and the plexi receded, leaving you on the bed of nails.  I tried it out too.  Totally comfortable!  Here is Lucca.

And Adobe...

 Kozhin...

Little Phoe...

  The next thing was pretty cool too.  Did you know that to your brain, cold + warm = hot?  There were metal bars, cold from one side, warm from the other.  When you put your hand in the middle, where you could feel both simultaneously, it felt hot!  Ooooh, trippy!

Optical illusion.... hypnotized!  One down...

And another one bites the dust...

Here are our cuties!

And next - ah yes, payphones!  Remember those?  Also known as Dial-a-Germ.

Phoenix's cave man side shows itself a little...

And this thing simulated your digestive tract.  If you could move that ball through the mesh tube, it made the gurgling sounds that your guts make!  Yeah!  (Sorry for the excessive use of exclamation points throughout the post; I'm just a bit excited...)

Next, of course Phoenix had to get on the Dial-a-Germ.  I had daddy in mind here; I knew he would 'love' this as he's pretty grossed out by germs in public places.

Not sure what he was listening to here, but he looks so darn cute!

Oh lordy, okay, I know it's alot of pictures, but wait, there's more!  I just wish blogger would let me format this differently so I could do a gallery with captions or something.  Wordpress can do that, but alas, I didn't like the interface!  So.... in the future, I'll try to whip up quick slideshows instead.

That's it for Wednesday's adventures.  We left, and the kids came with me to Oxon Hill where I teach tap on Wednesday nights.  Long day.

On Thursday, our little tribe met up at Alcova Heights Park.  The kids played, meandered in the creek, snacked; the moms talked, about all manner of things.

Alcova Heights, aka 'the Creek playground' is one of my favorite spots.  I've been taking Adobe there since before she could walk.

I suggested that today might be a good day to discuss Daylight Saving Time and the Spring Equinox, since one just happened, and one was about to happen.  (Yay Spring!)  What is Daylight Saving?  Why does it happen?  Who 'invented' it?  What exactly is the Spring Equinox?  What are some cultures whose New Year corresponds? etc... We discussed all this over a picnic lunch, and then we made some 'land art' together, inspired by the fabulous Andy Goldsworthy, who Melanie & I both love.  We collected sticks, branches, and leaves to make a sun, in honor of the longer daylight hours bestowed upon us by the Equinox, & Daylight Saving (sort of - well at least it's light later in the day...)

Yes, that's Phoenix sitting in the middle of the sun - Adobe put his hair in piggy tails, and everyone was calling him a 'she' all day.

Skyler is approving the work.

 Beautiful momma Melanie...

Sweet Amman at this point then asks if he can sing a song, which turns out to be, "You Are My Sunshine..." Awesome!  And everyone joins in as they continue working. 

Kazha says 'hmmmm, what else does it need?'....

Placing the final touches... momma Stephanie, and the girls.

At this point, I video'd everyone holding hands and singing the song again - so cute!  Don't have a way to share that here, and haven't uploaded it anywhere...

Here is Melanie in fetal position inside our sun.

That was fun!

Friday, we handled some business at home and then met the tribe and other folks at the park.  Phoenix was so beat that he fell asleep around 6:30ish and slept straight through til the next morning.  Saturday, first day of spring! - it was nice & warm.  We busted out the kiddie pool, the kids played, we did yard work, picked up mulch, I trimmed the rose bushes, and stuff like that.  Sunday, more work outside, making the front and side of the house look all nice.  I rescued our violet tree (or whatever it is) that was being suffocated by ivy - pulled it all off, which was quite a job, and Atom took out two thorny bushes on the side of the house (huge job), and we did a bunch more stuff.  Hard labor.  Fun.  No, seriously, I like it.  I know it's not as fun for Atom since he does hard labor at work all week.  But it's different when it's your home.  Therapeutic.  More pictures to come.

And if you've stuck around til the end, guess I'm not doing too bad, cuz I know this was a long one.  Thanks!